Influencing Your Relationships
Posted: Monday, December 15, 2008
by James Bond
http://www.jamesandjanka.com/
I feel my world changing around me. It is funny because my world is changing simultaneously with my own personal growth. To state this more clearly, I believe my growth is changing the world around me. The place this is most evident is in my personal and professional relationships. I notice my associates are much more available to me than I previously believed them to be. I feel closer to people and while I still have my moments of self induced isolation and reflection I am craving them less and less. I am beginning to find experiencing life far more enjoyable then thinking about life. For me this transformation began with exploring the limits my beliefs were placing on my personal relationships. If you are feeling inclined to exploring your own opportunities for deeper relationships with those around you here are a few tips that I found very useful.
"I have come to think of thoughts as echoes of my past. Often they are the voices of my parents, teachers, or some other authoritative or respected entity. Often the things my thoughts tell me were very applicable in the situation in which I internalized them but do not apply to me currently. I now reevaluate my situation before accepting a thought I observe as correct."
2. Once you honor your thoughts then decide if they would be beneficial in your current situation.
"A great example of what I mean here is the golden rule. "Treat others as you want to be treated", in my life as a child with my little influence and power this rule often kept me out of trouble and increased my happiness. In a heterosexual relationship as a grown man if I applied this to most situations with my girlfriend I would be very sad indeed and my relationship would probably be in jeopardy".
3. Be willing to be wrong. Instead of seeking to validate and confirm observed thoughts, be very aware of subtle things that you did not expect. Be curious about what other assumptions you may hold that are incorrect.
"A lot of the great things in my life are a direct result of my beliefs, but guess what, so are a lot of my limitations and failures. While I have not abandoned my beliefs I am a lot more critical of them. I want them to prove to me that they still apply to my current being with all the resources and talents I now possess".
4. Lastly, have fun, be you, share yourself. A lot of time we are more beautiful than our thoughts allow us to realize.
"Ever have a friend you wished could see themselves the way you see them? Ever consistently notice someone that just couldn't see how wonderful they are or how much they have helped you? There is probably more then a few people who feel the same way about you! Spend some time with them. It will be good for you"!
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Top-level comments on this article: (9 total)Good, simple advice. Well done!Thanks for taking the time to read Camille. I really enjoyed your lighten up article and look forward to reading more.
James Bond(?)...funny how you look vaguely like another person of another name on here...But anywho, this is a fabulous, and quite inspiring article, SIR!!! Thanks for sharing it.Hey Ronyae,Hmmmm....you will have to show me this look-a-like. Thanks for taking the time to read. I look forward to reading a few of your articles.Now that I look closer, I'm not seeing the first glance resemblance at all, LOL. OMG. How embarassing....and when I show you....
hi james,this was a very well written, interesting article, of which i can also attest to. the better we are within ourselves, the better the outside will treat us.thanks for sharing your thoughts,best regards,sue thomThank you so much for reading Sue. I am really enjoying experiencing this and how much point of view, and faith are changing my situation or perception of it.
James, dear friend. You are such a talented writer. I love that--"...be willing to be wrong..." So many people are afraid of just that; have such a fear of being wrong. I remember it so well when I was younger. Sometimes we grow wiser as we age. I no longer mind being wrong; it is not nearly so important as it was when I was young.Thanks for a wonderful article.SandraThank you so much Sandra. I trust the holidays are treating you well.
Things tend to duplicate themselves in life. Treat others badly and you will receive the same in turn. I could not agree more on willing to be wrong. That's the toughest thing for a human to do isn't it? To say sorry. It made me think of a great quote I often refer to :" I am always right with the possibility of being wrong"Thank you so much...sorry for the delay in my response...I disappeared for awhile.
A lot of good advice and tips for those who need to examine their relationships.Thank you so much Robert...sorry for the delay in my reply.
Being willing to be wrong...that is a hard thing. Lately, I am learning that it usually doesn't matter who is right which makes it easier to be willing to be wrong! Good tips! Thanks for sharing them.Thank you for reading Lorrie.
James, I'm late but never late than never, correct?
Although I'm late, these tips are timely! They are profound and sound advice at any age of reason. Thank you and I will share this with others.Thanks for reading I have been a little tardy myself but I am getting back in the groove of things.
Nice expression beautifully portrayed.Thank you for reading and commenting Kaneta
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